FYA: From misc.consumers
Subject: Sending Phone Calls Back to Hell
Usually, I tell people I'm not interested, hang up on them, or tell
them to send me something in writing.
For the persistent, I have two techniques that have served me well ...
1) Act really strange ... sample dialogue ...
caller: This is Fred Smith from Ripoff Telesales!
me: Fred! How are you! Have you seen Martha's new hairdo?
me: Fred Smith, right? We met at the Sheraton last week ...
caller: No, that wasn't me ...
me: Never mind that. Do you like to skydive?
me: I thought so! Meet me at the airport tomorrow at noon!
2) Be unreasonable in a rational way, be irrational in a reasonable way ...
sample dialogue ...
caller: We'll have ba*t inspectors in your area tomorrow!
me: Great ... but there's just one thing ...
me: Tell the inspector he has to bring a turnip.
me: A turnip. I need one for dinner.
caller: Why don't you go to the market?
me: No, if you want to inspect, you bring a turnip!
caller: We're selling vinyl siding ...
me: Great, my house looks like crap!
caller: We'll have Fred out next Monday.
me: I have a question ...
me: This siding ... I'll need it with pickles ...
me: Yes, you know, the green things.
caller: Sir, this is vinyl siding ... it doesn't come with pickles!
me: And why not?
caller: Well, it just doesn't.
me: Well, forget it then.
caller: I'll get the supervisor.
caller's boss: Can I help you?
me: Yes, I want siding with pickles!
caller's boss: Siding with pickles?!
me: Very good, you can repeat...yes, siding with pickles.
caller's boss: Sorry, we don't do that.
me: Well, sounds like a problem ...
I started doing this about a year ago ... I hardly ever get any calls ...
I think I'm on the "nut" list, but I don't care.