Sending Phone Calls Back to Hell

Sending Phone Calls Back to Hell

Post by Monty Solomo » Wed, 23 Nov 1994 22:09:28



FYA:  From misc.consumers


 Newsgroups: misc.consumers
 Subject: Sending Phone Calls Back to Hell

Usually, I tell people I'm not interested, hang up on them, or tell
them to send me something in writing.

For the persistent, I have two techniques that have served me well ...

1) Act really strange ... sample dialogue ...

        caller: This is Fred Smith from Ripoff Telesales!

        me: Fred! How are you! Have you seen Martha's new hairdo?

        caller: Huh?

        me: Fred Smith, right? We met at the Sheraton last week ...

        caller: No, that wasn't me ...

        me: Never mind that. Do you like to skydive?

        caller: er....

        me: I thought so! Meet me at the airport tomorrow at noon!

        caller: (click)

2) Be unreasonable in a rational way, be irrational in a reasonable way ...
   sample dialogue ...

        caller: We'll have ba*t inspectors in your area tomorrow!

        me: Great ... but there's just one thing ...

        caller: What?

        me: Tell the inspector he has to bring a turnip.

        caller: Huh?

        me: A turnip. I need one for dinner.

        caller: Why don't you go to the market?

        me: No, if you want to inspect, you bring a turnip!

        caller: (click)

or ...

        caller: We're selling vinyl siding ...

        me: Great, my house looks like crap!

        caller: We'll have Fred out next Monday.

        me: I have a question ...

        caller: Sure.

        me: This siding ... I'll need it with pickles ...

        caller: Pickles?

        me: Yes, you know, the green things.

        caller: Sir, this is vinyl siding ... it doesn't come with pickles!

        me: And why not?

        caller: Well, it just doesn't.

        me: Well, forget it then.

        caller: I'll get the supervisor.

        caller's boss: Can I help you?

        me: Yes, I want siding with pickles!

        caller's boss: Siding with pickles?!

        me: Very good, you can repeat...yes, siding with pickles.

        caller's boss: Sorry, we don't do that.

        me: Well, sounds like a problem ...

I started doing this about a year ago ... I hardly ever get any calls ...
I think I'm on the "nut" list, but I don't care.

PJ

 
 
 

1. Sending Phone Calls Back to Hell

FYA:  From misc.consumers


X-Orig-Newsgroups: misc.consumers
Subject: Sending Phone Calls Back to Hell

Usually, I tell people I'm not interested, hang up on them, or tell
them to send me something in writing.

For the persistent, I have two techniques that have served me well...

1) Act really strange...sample dialogue...

        caller: This is Fred Smith from Ripoff Telesales!

        me: Fred! How are you! Have you seen Martha's new hairdo?

        caller: Huh?

        me: Fred Smith, right? We met at the Sheraton last week...

        caller: No, that wasn't me...

        me: Never mind that. Do you like to skydive?

        caller: er....

        me: I thought so! Meet me at the airport tomorrow at noon!

        caller: (click)

2) Be unreasonable in a rational way, be irrational in a reasonable way...
   sample dialogue...

        caller: We'll have basement inspectors in your area tomorrow!

        me: Great...but there's just one thing...

        caller: What?

        me: Tell the inspector he has to bring a turnip.

        caller: Huh?

        me: A turnip. I need one for dinner.

        caller: Why don't you go to the market?

        me: No, if you want to inspect, you bring a turnip!

        caller: (click)

or...

        caller: We're selling vinyl siding...

        me: Great, my house looks like crap!

        caller: We'll have Fred out next Monday.

        me: I have a question...

        caller: Sure.

        me: This siding...I'll need it with pickles...

        caller: Pickles?

        me: Yes, you know, the green things.

        caller: Sir, this is vinyl siding...it doesn't come with pickles!

        me: And why not?

        caller: Well, it just doesn't.

        me: Well, forget it then.

        caller: I'll get the supervisor.

        caller's boss: Can I help you?

        me: Yes, I want siding with pickles!

        caller's boss: Siding with pickles?!

        me: Very good, you can repeat...yes, siding with pickles.

        caller's boss: Sorry, we don't do that.

        me: Well, sounds like a problem...

I started doing this about a year ago...I hardly ever get any calls...I
think I'm on the "nut" list, but I don't care.

PJ

2. Portable method for obtaining version/vendor/name of ORB

3. call back with different dial back phone numbers

4. Messenger service won't run

5. Enqueued and back to back send

6. Profanity (Was:Re: Can I get Ingres WindowView to work under OpenWindows?)

7. Back to Back TR and Back to back BRI

8. Receiving newsgroup in pine

9. Strange Phone Problem - Call Back

10. Sent-Paid Calls From Coin Phones

11. Call Own Phone Back Number Wanted