Funny as Hell

Funny as Hell

Post by Nigel Feltha » Sun, 29 Dec 2002 03:47:27




> begin  On Tue, 24 Dec 2002 19:22:57 -0000, in
> comp.os.linux.advocacy,

>>I just saw a police van, it was quite dirty.
>>In the filth on the back of the van someone had written

>>"Driven badly?
>>      999"

>>I pissed myself laughing

> Is that supposed to be funny? This would tie up vital
> emergency phone lines, possibly causing deaths.

preferably yours.

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Funny as Hell

Post by Nigel Feltha » Tue, 31 Dec 2002 03:59:37



> So do us a favor and try to understand why someone from the US would not
> know about 999.  BTW, what is the number for the rest of Europe?  Bet
> it's not the same!  Heck, Europe can't even agree on the voltage for
> power!

This shows how behind the times you american idea of Europe is - the mains
voltage for europe has been standardised as 230v +-10% for nearly 10 years
now. The +- tolerance was done to allow most countries to standardise
without affecting equipment already in use as most continental europe was
already on 220v and the UK was on 240v which both already fell into
specification. This also takes care of voltage sag when load changes (half
the country switching on kettles after a popular TV show for example).

The Emergency code for the whole of europe is 112.

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Funny as Hell

Post by Steve Walke » Wed, 01 Jan 2003 00:15:53



> Let's face it, if Great Brittan were to
> disappear tomorrow, the US would only notice that we can't buy those
> little shortbread cookies anymore.

hehe - nice one.....
 
 
 

Funny as Hell

Post by fat blok » Wed, 01 Jan 2003 23:44:55


also dont forget if we dissapeard where would all the refugges go???
steve


> > Let's face it, if Great Brittan were to
> > disappear tomorrow, the US would only notice that we can't buy those
> > little shortbread cookies anymore.

> hehe - nice one.....

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Funny as Hell

Post by Conor Turto » Thu, 02 Jan 2003 09:40:00




Quote:> also dont forget if we dissapeard where would all the refugges go???

And who would talk to all those countries that Bush wants on his side?

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Funny as Hell

Post by Peter K?hlman » Sun, 05 Jan 2003 16:45:01







>> >On the other hand if the US were to
>> >drop off the face of the earth, most of the world would be hurting big
>> >time.  Much of the electronics made are designed here, financed here
>> >and even the basic science of most of today's technology is from here.

>> Look around you. Almost everything you see was invented by the
>> British. Britain built the modern world and to claim that Americans
>> discovered most of basic science or electronics shows how uneducated
>> you are. Name your top 10 Americans who have advanced science or
>> technology and I'll show you 10 Brits who put them to shame.

>> --
>> Dave

> 1) Henry Ford
> 2) Bill Gates

Neither of which have advanced science or technology.
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Funny as Hell

Post by cfswester » Sun, 05 Jan 2003 18:17:00





> >1) Henry Ford
> >2) Bill Gates

> 1) Isaac Newton
> 2) Alan Turing

Well, Isaac Newton is a pretty good one, I must say.

But our brainiacs invented the working nuclear weapon and internet. I am not
sure which is worse.

And I still claim Americans invented the first computer.  That code breaking
monstrosity was just a single task device.

 
 
 

Funny as Hell

Post by cfswester » Sun, 05 Jan 2003 18:58:03



> begin  On Sat, 04 Jan 2003 16:17:00 GMT, in
> comp.os.linux.advocacy,

>>Well, Isaac Newton is a pretty good one, I must say.

>>But our brainiacs invented the working nuclear weapon and internet. I am not
>>sure which is worse.

> I'm sure it was a German who did most of the work going
> towards that.

>>And I still claim Americans invented the first computer.  That code breaking
>>monstrosity was just a single task device.

> Monstrosity? I doubt you'd be calling it that if Americans
> invented it. It was a great device which did a hell of a lot
> in winning the war. Maybe you're just pissed off because you
> worked out that what you saw in U-571 was all bollocks?

Oppenheimer and the nuclear weapons ?

The first War Dept. American computer could be set to do tasks. Then IBM
  got it. Then Jobs and Gates got their hands in. Then Hewlett and
Packard. Then Dell. Then Stanford guys who invented the internet. And
there you have it.

 
 
 

Funny as Hell

Post by Richard Revi » Sun, 05 Jan 2003 18:58:40


cfswestern used a team of monkeys to generate this reply:

Quote:> But our brainiacs invented the working nuclear weapon and internet.

Einstien wasn't an American.

Quote:> And I still claim Americans invented the first computer.  That code
> breaking monstrosity was just a single task device.

What about LEO? That was English and most certainly multi use.

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Funny as Hell

Post by cfswester » Sun, 05 Jan 2003 19:02:01



> begin  On Sat, 04 Jan 2003 14:25:26 GMT, in
> comp.os.linux.advocacy,



>>>you are. Name your top 10 Americans who have advanced science or
>>>technology and I'll show you 10 Brits who put them to shame.

>>1) Henry Ford
>>2) Bill Gates

> Is that some kind of joke?

Not if you use what they perfected.
 
 
 

Funny as Hell

Post by cfswester » Sun, 05 Jan 2003 19:06:10



Quote:> cfswestern used a team of monkeys to generate this reply:

> > But our brainiacs invented the working nuclear weapon and internet.

> Einstien wasn't an American.

> > And I still claim Americans invented the first computer.  That code
> > breaking monstrosity was just a single task device.

> What about LEO? That was English and most certainly multi use.

> --

Einstein was not a bomb builder you doofus.
 
 
 

Funny as Hell

Post by cfswester » Sun, 05 Jan 2003 19:16:08



> begin  On Sat, 04 Jan 2003 16:59:49 +0000, in
> comp.os.linux.advocacy,

>>>Why is the US the most power nation in human history both socially and
>>>economically?

>>Because the industries of the USA had made a fortune from WWll and the abject
>>misery of Europe. It did not have to spend any of it on rebuilding bomb
>>devastated cities.

> Yeah, shame Hitler wasn't from Mexico instead.

The dumbass Europeans did not learn anything from WWI so they decided to
do it over with better weapons. If it happens a third time you are on
your own.
 
 
 

Funny as Hell

Post by Richard Revi » Sun, 05 Jan 2003 19:26:12


cfswestern used a team of monkeys to generate this reply:

Quote:> Einstein was not a bomb builder you doofus.

Whoops, you are right, he wrote a letter to FDR warning against doing it. He
was never part of the project.

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Funny as Hell

Post by Peter K?hlman » Sun, 05 Jan 2003 19:33:36




>> begin  On Sat, 04 Jan 2003 16:23:35 GMT, in
>> comp.os.linux.advocacy,

>>>So than what happen?

>>>Why is the US the most power nation in human history both socially and
>>>economically?

>> You must be joking. The Romans were more powerful than you
>> will ever be, The British covered more land than America
>> could ever dream of, America hasn't done much of any worth
>> other than bomb a few countries.

> How is your space program going these days ?

I seem to recall that the first successfull rockets were build in germany
by a fellow whose name later became somewhat involved with the american
space program. Lets guess: Could it be Wernher von Braun?

Quote:> Ever use electricity

Was not invented in america

Quote:> telephone

Was invented in germany. Alexander Graham Bell had the same idea, just
later

Quote:> television

Was invented in germany. The first TV broadcast ever was during the 1936
Olympic games

Quote:> or an airplane

The first one ever to fly with a plane heavier than air was a german (Otto
Lilienthal). He built gliders and later had a fatal accident testing a
new one
The Wright brothers had the powered flight made possible as the first
ones, but several years later

Quote:> I see your are struggling to use a computer. Thank American industry
> for that also.

The first working computer ever was built in germany by Konrad Zuse, it
was called the "Z1". Later came the britains with their electronic
monster which they then used to crack german cipher codes. It was a real,
working and programmable computer, as was the Z1 and the Z2. The first
american computer came years later. That one which was used to compute
ballistic curves in the US during the war was not programmable and
therefore does not count as a computer. And even then it was later than
the Z1 and even the Z2

I see that of your "american inventions" none remain which were actually
american. Now how might that be? Could it be that you are actually
clueless?

--
Real programmers don't comment their code.  It was hard to write,
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Funny as Hell

Post by Peter K?hlman » Sun, 05 Jan 2003 19:35:13





>> cfswestern used a team of monkeys to generate this reply:

>> > But our brainiacs invented the working nuclear weapon and internet.

>> Einstien wasn't an American.

>> > And I still claim Americans invented the first computer.  That code
>> > breaking monstrosity was just a single task device.

>> What about LEO? That was English and most certainly multi use.

>> --

> Einstein was not a bomb builder you doofus.

No. His mathematics just made the bomb feasable. He later much regretted
to have published them. You don't know too much, do you?

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1. [OT} Re: Funny as Hell


comp.os.linux.advocacy to propose the following:

also helps if you know that a lot of commercial vehicles over here in the
UK have got notices on the backs of them with basically the message:

"Am I Driving badly? Ring 0800 XXXXXXX"

to let the fleet operator know if the vehicle is being driven with little
regard to other road users.

As fleet operators have to keep good records of exactly who is driving
what vehicle, when and where for insurance purposes. The drivers know
that they can be easily reported for driving badly.

There are also similar schemes that reward good driving.

(Stupid cross-posting deleted, and subject line amended.)

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