by Do not read anything that Linux-fux write. Instead, to support your
argument, offer an interpretation of what you thought they might have said.
You may also expand on this by offering an opinion of what you think they
should have said.
If you are inadvertently forced to read something written by a Linux-fuk,
never read it in sequential order and certainly never, ever read a post from
a Linux-fuk in context. It is imperative to try to understand what _you_
think the Linux-fuk is trying to convey rather than what he really is
attempting to say. Reading a post from a Linux-fuk in any sort of order will
only retard your assessment of what you think he might have or should have
said.
If you find yourself reading a post from Linux-fuk, you should take great
care to remember that what you think a Linux-fuk meant to say is far more
important than what he really tried to say.
You should always interpret Linux-fuk scribblings in usenet as actually
describing the way they think, though this does not apply if the Linux-fuk
is
trying to describe the way they think things should be. This is an extremely
difficult call to make and if you are finding it difficult going, just take
it out of context, misquote it and use it in evidence against the Linux-fuk.
This is a very good fallback position as Linux-fux never notice it. However
be aware that America has a Constitution to protect the rights of its
citizens, thus American Linux-fux have the right to remain stupid.
You should consider all Linux-fux to be vacuous and stupid. Do not allow
bleating and whining Linux-fux to convince you that you are being unfair to
them as this tactic will merely divert you from the truth.
A little bit of history under your belt will go a long way to understanding
the Linux-fuk psyche. If you ever find yourself discussing Vietnam with an
American Linux-fuk, you will do well to remember the three American
Linux-fuk interpretations of the outcome of that war, vis-a-vis:
A) America won
B) America lost
C) America neither won nor lost. It just came second
Remember that Linux-fuk posts are complete fabrications, which are devoid of
scholarship and never contain a single considered thought. It is best to
skip a Linux-fuk's messages altogether because only very small fragments of
their posts will be meaningful anyway.
If you must reply to a post from a Linux-fuk and wish to give the Linux-fuk
the benefit of reading his/her words again by including quotations from
their post in order to prove that you are right and the Linux-fuk is wrong,
the following procedure will assist you:
Cut out all the paragraphs from his post and keep only every third or fourth
one -- This can be varied according to the phases of the seasons, the days
of the week, or even the music being played on the radio -- for example, if
today is Wednesday and it is winter and Elvis Presley music is being played,
cut out three lines from each paragraph, cut out every second paragraph that
is left, cut the last paragraph and paste it to where the first one was.
If you are not too concerned about being very sensitive to Linux-fux and do
not care about their self-esteem (thanks Gnu), then by all means, paste
quotes from other people's messages and force the Linux-fuk to admit they
were his comments.
It is quite acceptable and within the limits of permissible discussion with
a Linux-fuk to leave words, phrases, sentences, and entire paragraphs out of
the quote. It is also allowable to engage in stealthy fact swapping and
exaggeration in order to conceal and confuse the original context of the
Linux-fuk's opinion beyond recognition. In short, if it is to your benefit
and the Linux-fuk's disadvantage, it is allowable. However you should be
wary
of even hinting to the Linux-fuk that you have done any of these things
because the information may come in handy when the Linux-fuk becomes
psychotic and follows you from one newsgroup to the next and maniacally
posts 9kb messages containing what he or she thinks is proof that you were
wrong.
If you feel that the Linux-fuk you are engaged in debate with is attempting
any of these devices you should wail loudly and accuse the Linux-fuk of
typical small-mindedness, under-handed fact swapping, deception,
deceitfulness, treachery, dishonesty, duplicity, perfidy ... and whatever
other words your superior (by default) education has provided to your
repertoire.
On the subject of repertoire, the Linux-fuk runs out of ideas after
exhausting the inevitable poo, bum, wee,*, arse, tit, cunt, mother,
brother, sister, windoz suks references.
In conclusion, the method outlined here for engaging Linux-fux in discussion
will almost guarantee that you will be in the forefront of the Linux-fuk's
mind... along with his or her psychoses, hallucinations, nausea, dizziness,
anxiety, panic attacks, insomnia, confusion and depression.
If you play the mind-game right, you can bypass the Linux-fuk's conscious
mind (well, what little there is of it, anyway) and enter whatever
information you so desire directly into their thick bone heads and they'll
never ever know -- unless you keep archives so you can rub their faces in it
when they psychotically chase you around usenet yelling, "I WIN! I WIN! I
WIN!"
Remember now, what is important is what _you_ claim the Linux-fuk said, not
what the Linux-fuk _actually_ said. Be untruthful, deceptive, ambiguous,
arrogant, condescending, pompous, patronising, scornful and wishy-washy. Who
cares? The Linux-fuk might, but does anyone else? Who will know? Certainly
not the Linux-fuk.
IMPORTANT FOOTNOTE: Unix users (LunATix) are Linux-fux by default.
It is quite acceptable to assume that a LunATik is, in actual fact, a
wanabee
Linux-fuk. Wanabbe Linux-fux should be as mercilessly Linux-*ed as
Linux-fux.
--
Kadaitcha Man
Moderator: alt.os.windows-xp