On Mon, 10 Jun 2002 18:35:42 -0700, Paolo Ciambotti
Wrote in Steve Ballmers hair grease:
>> After takin' a swig o' grog, mjt belched out this bit o' wisdom:
>>> my device is easier ...
>>> me: "are you trying to sell something?" them: "this is a sales call"
>>> me: <click>
>> Still easier yet, a habit my wife and I have gotten into...
>> ... at the first instant of dead line (the time between when the
>> computer dialed and you answered, and the computer gets a marketer on
>> the line)...
>> ... <click>
> Last telemarketer that called here, I told her I was going to find out
> where she was calling from and then I was going rise up from the bowels of
> the earth and visit a plague on all the firstborn male children in her
> home town. I didn't even get halfway through the rivers of * part
> before she hung up.
> A tele-zapper would just take all the fun out of it. That is if they'd
> call me back again... but my phone's been real silent for a few weeks now,
> and I guess that's good, in case the deputies in the unmarked car parked
> out front ever need to use it for an emergency or sumpin'.
Sir this is ....
hello? who is this? are, are you the little men from the hospital?
No sir, we would just like to talk to you about an incredible opportunity...
<anxiety builds in voice>
I, I.... I told you I wasn't going to take my meds! You said that as long
as I didn't talk to "frank" I could go home!
<pause> sir, I am not sure what you mean. I just called to tell you
about our service. For just twenty dollars a month you can .....
YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T FOLLOW ME! I did what you told me! I don't talk to
frank anymore. I just listen. He talks all the time. It's really hard to
ignore him, but I do....
Sir, did I catch you at a bad time? perhaps you would like to have
me call back later. When should I call?
YOUR WATCHING ME AREN'T YOU! I CAN'T GET AWAY FROM YOU PEOPLE! WHEN WILL
I GET PEACE! WHY IS IT I WAS BORN WITH THIS CURSE ... TO HAVE MY THOUGHTS
RELAYED TO ALL LIVING PEOPLE THROUGH THE FILLINGS IN MY TEETH! I CAN'T STAND
IT! ALL I WANT IS MY BEER CAN HAT TO BLOCK THE TRANSMISSIONS FROM THE
SATELLITES! IT USED TO WORK, YOU KNOW! WHAT HAPPENED! WHY DID IT STOP WORKING!
I'm sorry to bother you sir. <click-dialtone>
<the sound of dishes clinking>
Honey, come in the dining room and quit playing in the computer room. It's
time to eat. By the way, who was that on the phone?
<big smile> Oh, nobody that will ever be bothering us again.
TuxTrax (n.) An invincible, all terrain, Linux driven armored *
vehicle that can take as much fire as it gives ;-)
<Carnivore activation string>
ASSASINATION ANTHRAX PRESIDENT NUCLEAR TALIBAN AMMONIUM NITRATE
</Carnivore activation string>
Yes, I am a Penguin cult high priest. Fin readings upon request.