A funny story

A funny story

Post by Vincent Weav » Tue, 22 Apr 1997 04:00:00

A funny story.... from http://www.glue.umd.edu/~weave/cool/adventure.html

Indiana Jones meets Bill Gates Bashing......

I am Vince Weaver, renound Computer Archaeologist from the Univeristy of
Mars.  Most people think that computer archaeoogy is a boring field.  But
they have never heard of the astounding adventures I've had.  But thats
not the point of my lecture today, so I digress.  What?  You don't believe
me?  Well I will tell the story of how I recovered the Gates Treasure.

While researching I found an ancient postscript file detailing the life of
the infamous tyrannical monopolist, Bill Gates.  It was always rumored
that he had a huge fortune amassed somewhere, but no one had ever found
it.  But this obscure document had a map.  Apparently it was stored in the
Temple of Microsoft in Redmond, Washington.

I chartered a hovercar, and got close.  But upon getting close to the
entrance, there were piles of dead bodies.  Some sort of security system
guarded this place.  How I could I succede when so many other adventurers
had failed?

Then I made the breakthrough.  Through sophisticated ancient computer
techniques, I discovered the security system was running Windows 95!  This
antique OS was even buggier than Windows 2145 [hard to believe but true.
That's why I run Linux 34.1.0 myself].  So it was easy.  The software
could handle one intruder apparently.  But my plan was to have me and 3
others attack simultaneously.  BOOM!!!! It worked!  By having all 4 of us
attack, the system was forced to "multi-task".  Win95 cannot do this
gracefully, it ran out of RAM and crashed completely, requiring a reboot.
So then I just walked in, and obtained the fortune.  I do not even know
why I bothered though.

Why?  Because.  All it was was a pile of End User License Agreements, MS
Office 97 upgrades, and IE disks.  Apparently some hacker had stolen all
the real treasure 10 years before, by exploiting an Active X bug to get

All was not lost though, the pentium that the security system was running
on got me a pretty high price from the Computer Museum.  So I did make a
slight profit.  But I digress more..... back to the lecture.........


A funny story

Post by Michael Si » Thu, 24 Apr 1997 04:00:00

Quote:>A funny story.... from http://www.glue.umd.edu/~weave/cool/adventure.html

>Indiana Jones meets Bill Gates Bashing......


        You forgot to post the funny part.

Michael Sims
...remove NOSPAM. from my address to reply...
"This has purple in it.  Purple is a fruit." - Homer J. Simpson


1. funny FUNNY MS story

Your going to love this.  Today I found both Bill Gates and Paul Allen's
social security numbers : ) God, I don't know why this kind of
information keeps coming to me.  I'm not looking. I'm not allowed to call
up Microsoft or send e-mail over there.  So I put them up on my web
hoping someone at Microsoft might see them--like Bill Gates and Paul

<h2>Bill Gates' Social Security Number: <B> 539-60-5125  </B>
Paul G. Allen's Social Security Number:  <B> 536-58-3118  </B>

Of course they have me censored because I use to send stuff like this
directly to Bill.  It's so much better to post things publicly on the
internet than to send private e-mail.  Gates should fire the whole lot of
them for being so stupid.


You're the Apple of my IBM. I'd Love to take a byte.
You really make my disk hard. Shall we go online tonight?
                    _         _
                .-~" "~-._.-~" "~-.
              __ ... . -^-- ,- -- - - -^ ,._   .
     _. - ~`v .                     '  ( `,  `,=')---.-.
   '           `.                 .'   `\'   ;."~-._` )`)
   `.            `._           _.'           {      )'~-,
                    `-.     .-'               `-  /'( >~
                       `. .'                    `(_.-'

Redmond Rose~ http://www.nwlink.com/~rosarium/


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