Cars & (Commercial) Software

Cars & (Commercial) Software

Post by Emilio Lope » Tue, 16 Jul 1996 04:00:00

That's what commercial software is good for. Jokes. :-)

Have fun!



               Instituto de Fisica da Universidade de Sao Paulo
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------- Start of forwarded message -------

Newsgroups: comp.lang.fortran
Subject: Cars & Compilers
Date: 14 Jul 1996 08:22:02 -0400
Organization: America Online, Inc. (1-800-827-6364)

If Bill Gates were into building cars we'd often be madder than hell --
and Ferraris would be doing from zero to sixty in 60 seconds flat -- so, a
few things that would be different if Microsoft started building cars ...


1. A particular model year of car wouldn't be available until after that
   year instead of before it.

2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you'd have to buy a
   new car.

3. Occasionally your car would just die for no reason, and you'd have
   to restart it.  For some strange reason, you'd just accept this.

4. You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you
   bought a car 95 or a car NT but then you'd have to buy more seats.

5. Sun Motorsystems would make a car that was powered by the sun, twice
   as reliable, and five times as fast - but it would only run on 5
   of the roads.

6. The oil, engine, gas, and alternator warning lights would be replaced
   with a single "General Car fault" warning light.

7. People would get e*d about the new features in Microsoft cars,
   forgetting completely that they had been available in other cars for

8. We'd all have to switch to microsoft gas.

9. The U.S. Government would be getting subsidies from an automaker,
   of giving them.

10. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.

11.  There will never be any recalls, there will only be "patches" and
     "updates" which don't actually solve the car's problems, they just
     them up.

12.  Any attempt at personalizing your car would crash the car.

13.  Microsoft car dealers would outdo their counterparts in dishonesty
     and lack of technical expertise.

14.  If you had to get new tires, your Microsoft car wouldn't recognize

15.  Cars would now get viruses.

------- End of forwarded message -------


1. What "commercial" web server software runs under Linux & Solaris x86?

I'm looking to put up several web sites on IBM PC compatibles, using
commercial software, not shareware or freeware.

What "commercial" web server software exists for Linux?

What "commercial" web server software exists for Solaris x86?

What "commercial" web server software exists for FreeBSD?

What "commercial" web server software exists for NetBSD?

What "commercial" web server software exists for BSDI?

Thanks in advance.
Larry Alan Smith

Beaverton, OR  97005-0964

2. Killing a process

3. ? about Little Brother & other commercial internet monitoring software

4. Problems w 3.4 & Adaptec 2940

5. Linux *is* better than any Microsoft OS - so are Vintage Cars compared to modern cars

6. Q:How to find $PATH of another user

7. Install disc & software 1 & software 2 disc

8. Netscape plugins problem (Flash)

9. If Cars Were Made Like Most Windoze Software...

10. COMMERCIAL: MuUSE && MenuAgent (Release 5.1.1)

11. Car MP3 players & GNU/Linux

12. Xconfig for REALTEK SVGA car&SVGA NI monitor ????

13. &&&&----Looking for a unix shell------&&&&&