That's what commercial software is good for. Jokes. :-)
Instituto de Fisica da Universidade de Sao Paulo
Caixa Postal 66318, 05389-970 Sao Paulo - SP, BRAZIL
Phone: (+55) (11) 818-6724 (Voice) / 818-6715 (Fax)
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Subject: Cars & Compilers
Date: 14 Jul 1996 08:22:02 -0400
Organization: America Online, Inc. (1-800-827-6364)
If Bill Gates were into building cars we'd often be madder than hell --
and Ferraris would be doing from zero to sixty in 60 seconds flat -- so, a
few things that would be different if Microsoft started building cars ...
1. A particular model year of car wouldn't be available until after that
year instead of before it.
2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you'd have to buy a
3. Occasionally your car would just die for no reason, and you'd have
to restart it. For some strange reason, you'd just accept this.
4. You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you
bought a car 95 or a car NT but then you'd have to buy more seats.
5. Sun Motorsystems would make a car that was powered by the sun, twice
as reliable, and five times as fast - but it would only run on 5
of the roads.
6. The oil, engine, gas, and alternator warning lights would be replaced
with a single "General Car fault" warning light.
7. People would get e*d about the new features in Microsoft cars,
forgetting completely that they had been available in other cars for
8. We'd all have to switch to microsoft gas.
9. The U.S. Government would be getting subsidies from an automaker,
of giving them.
10. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
11. There will never be any recalls, there will only be "patches" and
"updates" which don't actually solve the car's problems, they just
12. Any attempt at personalizing your car would crash the car.
13. Microsoft car dealers would outdo their counterparts in dishonesty
and lack of technical expertise.
14. If you had to get new tires, your Microsoft car wouldn't recognize
15. Cars would now get viruses.
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