Bill Gates' tech support (ex rec.humor.funny, worth reading)

Bill Gates' tech support (ex rec.humor.funny, worth reading)

Post by Leon Brook » Mon, 16 Feb 1998 04:00:00

> Now that Bill Gates has moved into his brand spanking new house
> in the Seattle suburbs, the following is a conversation
> overheard last week:

> Bill:  "There are a few issues we need to discuss."

> Contractor:  "Ah, you have our basic support option.  Calls are free for the
> first 90 days and $75 a call thereafter.  Okay?"

> Bill:  "Uh, yeah... the first issue is the living room.  We think its a little
> smaller than we anticipated."

> Contractor:  "Yeah.  Some compromises were made to have it out by the release
> date."

> Bill:  "We won't be able to fit all our furniture in there."

> Contractor:  "Well, you have two options.  You can purchase a new, larger
> living room; or you can use Stacker."

> Bill:  "Stacker?"

> Contractor:  "Yeah, it allows you to fit twice as much furniture into the
> room.   By stacking it, of course, you put the entertainment center on the
> couch... the chairs on the table... etc.  You leave an empty spot, so when
> you want to use some furniture you can unstack what you need and then put it
> back when you're done."

> Bill:  "Uh... I dunno... issue two.  The second issue is the light fixtures.
> The bulbs we brought with us from our old home won't fit.  The
> threads run the wrong way."

> Contractor:  "Oh!  That's easy.  Those bulbs aren't plug and play.
> You'll have to upgrade to the new bulbs."

> Bill:  "And the electrical outlets?  The holes are round, not rectangular. How
> do I fix that?"

> Contractor:  "Just uninstall and reinstall the electrical system."

> Bill:  "You're kidding!?"

> Contractor:  "Nope.  Its the only way."

> Bill:  "<sigh> Well... I have one last problem.  Sometimes, when I have
> guests over, someone will flush the toilet and it won't stop.  The water
> pressure drops so low that the showers don't work."

> Contractor:  "That's a resource leakage problem.  One fixture fails to
> terminate and is hogging the resources preventing access from other
> fixtures."

> Bill:  "And how do I fix that?"

> Contractor:  "Well, after each flush, you all need to exit the house, turn off
> the water at the street, turn it back on, re-enter the house and then you'll be
> back on track."

> Bill:  "That's the last straw.  What kind of product are you selling me?"

> Contractor:  "Hey, remember, if you don't like it, nobody made you buy it."

> Bill:  "And when will this be fixed?"

> Contractor:  "Oh, in your next house-which will be ready to release sometime
> near the end of 1998.  Actually it was due out earlier this year,
> but we've had some delays..."

> [Note - making the rounds unattributed - ed.]

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